Laugh at the Clown Car!

Everyone needs to laugh at least once a day. So here are some funny jokes, read them, tell them to your friends, and make sure to tell you friends were you read them!

• Sally's parents were going out to dinner so Sally said for "$20 I will be good all night" to which her dad replied, "Heck in my day I was good for nothing!"
• A orchestra conductor was having trouble with one of her percussion players. She was never on the right beat and always had complaints. The conductor talked to her and informed her that her performance needed to improve, but nothing helped. Finally one day the conductor stood up infront of the orchestra and said, "Sometimes in a an orchestra if a certain player is up to snuff and can't play their instrument well enough they take away her instrument, give her two sticks, and make her a drummer." When she finished speaking she heard a voice in the percussion section say, "And if she can't play the drums they take away one of her sticks and make her a conductor.
• A man and his wife were driving on a cross country road trip and came a cross the name of a town they couldn't quite pronounce, the towns name was Kissimmee. They were driving through this small little town and decided to stop and get something to eat. They stopped and got out. While they were ordering the man turned to their server and said, "My wife and I are wondering, could you please say very slowly and clearly the name of the place that we are in?" The server turned to him and said,"Bbbuuuuurrrrrggggggeeeeeeerrrrrr Kkkkkkkkiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnngggggggg"
• A man walked into a diner and told the waitress, "I really would like a cup of coffee, but I don't have any money to pay for it." The waitress replied, "I'm sorry sir, but no money no coffee",  to which the man replied, "What if I show you something that you have never seen before?" The waitress agreed and the man pulled a hamster out of his pocket and set it on the table. The hamster ran across the table, lept onto a nearby piano keyboard, and began to play very well. The waitress was impressed and gave him his cup of coffee. Well soon enough the man finished his coffee and wanted more, but the waitress said, "No money, no miracle, no coffee." The man pulled a frog out of his pocket and set him on the table. The frog opened its mouth and began to sing, perfectly in tune. Another man sitting in the diner heard him sing and rushed over to the man offering to buy the frog for $300. The man agreed, and after the buyer had left the waitress turned to the man and said, "Why did you sell that frog for $300? A frog like that would be worth millions!" "No," replied the man, "the hamster is also a ventriloquist!"  

A day without a smile is a day wasted!